I Am Tired Of Earth

What do you learn from love?
What can you do when there's nothing you can do but cry?
What can you do when you're alone even in the middle of a crowd?
What can you do when you're invisible, and walking in darkness, no matter what you do?

What are you when nobody loves you?
How can you live if nobody ever will?


Why can't anyone tell me?


I'll sit in my grey dress, and worn lace shoes, and idly listen to ninties music, I'll pretend its still then, before I had to chosen my destiny, before I had a forefront of uncertainty to leap into, before the world was strange and I had to try to fathom it.

Before I knew what sadness meant,

Before I felt in need of love, so deeply It feels like I'm dying of a broken heart.



I'll sip a glass of ice water, sit at the top of the stairs, leaning against the buckled wall, framed it the picture window. I'll watch the cars go by, going home and cry for no reason, devoid of thought behind my actions, unknowing myself.

I cry salt tears, from blind eyes, that watch the world move while I sit frozen in time, a being of the air, floating,

Til I crash and fall.



I'll close my eyes and pretend the world is disappearing, crashing around me. I'll feel it as if it was real, and it will become so in my tear striken eyes. I'll feel the ground fall away below me, the walls crumble into dust, the beauty outside vanish into firey haze and disease.



I'll watch the burning, I'll feel the flames on my skin, but I'll pick myself of the battered ground, and walk forward into my life, never looking back.

My world, my life, my loves, everything I've ever had, wanted and needed gone forever.



And I won't care.



That'll be my salvation,

and I'll walk to the end of the world, in hopes that love may wait there.
What else can a lost world, devoid of promise, of life, of freedom from destiny, from want have to offer.

What else can save us, redeem us, but love?



-Catcher

Can anything really end?